My ex-husband and I had a very successful divorce. We remained good friends during the divorce procedure, and afterwords, through his remarriage, until the day of his untimely death 2 years ago. I remain good friends with his widow. A few years ago, when our son got married out-of-state, the 3 of us went on the same flight, rented a car together, hung out together when there were no wedding-related activities going, on, etc., and generally had a good time.
During the recent trip to my home state, I discussed the purchase of a permanent grave marker with his widow. Turned out she had been shopping for one, but couldn't decide. And it was expensive! So, my son and I offered to split the cost in equal 3 way parts, which suited her just fine. So, while I was there, she and I went to the tombstone company to complete the selection and purchase. She had already visited with them, so they knew who she was, but when she introduced me as the first wife, they were jaw-dropping astonished! It was not only because this was a joint decision and a joint purchase, but that it was obvious from our give-and-take that we were friends.
We were giving them the facts and dates for the tombstone, and neither of us could remember the exact day that he had died. Was it the 10th or the 11th? At this point, the widow turned her back to me, pulled up her T-shirt, and asked me to read the tatoo. Yes, she had his birth and death date tatooed on her back. Now, it was my turn to be surprised!
Friday, July 20, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
What a strange trip it was!! - Part One.
Earlier this month, I made a trip to my home state for business purposes. I had aquired a little money from the sale of my house here, and since retirement is approaching, I thought it would be a good idea to use it as a down payment on a house in my home state. The idea was to rent it out short term, then perhaps move into it at retirement. The tenants would make my payments for me. I have had some rental property for some time, and I find that by using a rental agent, it is usually a pleasant and money-making enterprise.
I stayed with some friends while I was there. I'll call them Jack and Jill. They had been trying to sell their house for about a year, but after no success for some time, they gave up and took it off the market. They love the house, but it has 2 stories, and the lady of the house is getting older. Her knees will no longer allow her to go to the second floor. I asked Jill if they were still interested in selling, and she said yes, and quoted me a price. I thought about it, but believed it was out of my price range.
So, I enlisted the aid of a real estate person and looked at several other houses. I decided tentatively on one of them, and asked my property manager to look at it. He was willing to manage it for me, but pointed out some things that would need work. Then, I asked him to look at Jack and Jill's house while he was out and about, and he agreed. Wow, was he excited! Their house has charming architectural detail, and is close to a major college campus. He said he could rent it in a heartbeat, for about 50% more rent than the other place. He also pointed out it would appreciate over the years much more than the other house.
So, I made a return visit to my new best friend at a local bank, whom I had approached about loaning me money on the first house. She ran some numbers and seemed to think she could probably help me out!
That evening, I talked to Jill about going forward with a sale. She was taken by surprise! Turned out she had not taken me seriously in our earlier conversation. But, after I convinced her, she and Jack were both delighted! They took me out to dinner to celebrate. That very evening, they drove around to look at some houses that Jill had noticed on the internet. The next day, they enlisted the aid of a real estate agent, and looked at several on the inside. Both of them seemed to be quite engaged in their search for a new house.
Then some conversations happened that turned out to be more important than would seem at first glance. I happened to be in a car with Jack, without Jill along, as he was taking me somewhere, and he said "Jill is a wonderful woman but she can't manage money." Later, I was with Jill alone, and she said "Jack is a wonderful man but he can't manage money." I almost laughed out loud because she used almost the exact same words as Jack did. I did not tell either what the other had said. Did not want to get in the middle of that! But I did think that I was glad I would be going home soon, and would not be around when the discussions about their purchase of a new house got serious. I thought it might get ugly.
Last Tuesday morning I flew home. Wednesday morning I checked my email, and there was a message from Jill. It seems that Jack had told her he was leaving her, and had packed some bags Tuesday night and moved into a friend's apartment!! Yikes! Jill thinks he had decided this is what he wanted some time ago, and was just waiting until the house was sold before he made his move. But, it seemed to me that he was very engaged in the joint house search with Jill, so who knows? I was stunned, as I have known both of them for some time, and from all outward appearances (even while I was staying with them), they seemed to be getting along fine. Except for that "little" disagreement about money management! Perhaps discussing the price range of the new house purchase had led to the last and biggest money disagreement.
The sale is still on, as this is what they both wanted. Jill is trying to buy a house by herself. So, the closing might be delayed, but that's OK.
More later about this strange trip.
I stayed with some friends while I was there. I'll call them Jack and Jill. They had been trying to sell their house for about a year, but after no success for some time, they gave up and took it off the market. They love the house, but it has 2 stories, and the lady of the house is getting older. Her knees will no longer allow her to go to the second floor. I asked Jill if they were still interested in selling, and she said yes, and quoted me a price. I thought about it, but believed it was out of my price range.
So, I enlisted the aid of a real estate person and looked at several other houses. I decided tentatively on one of them, and asked my property manager to look at it. He was willing to manage it for me, but pointed out some things that would need work. Then, I asked him to look at Jack and Jill's house while he was out and about, and he agreed. Wow, was he excited! Their house has charming architectural detail, and is close to a major college campus. He said he could rent it in a heartbeat, for about 50% more rent than the other place. He also pointed out it would appreciate over the years much more than the other house.
So, I made a return visit to my new best friend at a local bank, whom I had approached about loaning me money on the first house. She ran some numbers and seemed to think she could probably help me out!
That evening, I talked to Jill about going forward with a sale. She was taken by surprise! Turned out she had not taken me seriously in our earlier conversation. But, after I convinced her, she and Jack were both delighted! They took me out to dinner to celebrate. That very evening, they drove around to look at some houses that Jill had noticed on the internet. The next day, they enlisted the aid of a real estate agent, and looked at several on the inside. Both of them seemed to be quite engaged in their search for a new house.
Then some conversations happened that turned out to be more important than would seem at first glance. I happened to be in a car with Jack, without Jill along, as he was taking me somewhere, and he said "Jill is a wonderful woman but she can't manage money." Later, I was with Jill alone, and she said "Jack is a wonderful man but he can't manage money." I almost laughed out loud because she used almost the exact same words as Jack did. I did not tell either what the other had said. Did not want to get in the middle of that! But I did think that I was glad I would be going home soon, and would not be around when the discussions about their purchase of a new house got serious. I thought it might get ugly.
Last Tuesday morning I flew home. Wednesday morning I checked my email, and there was a message from Jill. It seems that Jack had told her he was leaving her, and had packed some bags Tuesday night and moved into a friend's apartment!! Yikes! Jill thinks he had decided this is what he wanted some time ago, and was just waiting until the house was sold before he made his move. But, it seemed to me that he was very engaged in the joint house search with Jill, so who knows? I was stunned, as I have known both of them for some time, and from all outward appearances (even while I was staying with them), they seemed to be getting along fine. Except for that "little" disagreement about money management! Perhaps discussing the price range of the new house purchase had led to the last and biggest money disagreement.
The sale is still on, as this is what they both wanted. Jill is trying to buy a house by herself. So, the closing might be delayed, but that's OK.
More later about this strange trip.
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