Hey! The end of the world started yesterday. Didn't you hear? Washington called it the sequester. Everyone is all upset. Look out your window. You can see the disaster unfold. Dogs are having sex with cats, and the cats don't like it. ATMs are spewing money at random moments. The volcano under Yellowstone has erupted. The animals have all escaped from the zoos. The Pope was so upset about the coming events, he quit rather than having to guide the church throught it. See the little bits of blue shards on the sidewalks? That's the sky falling. And everyone is having a bad hair day.
Oh, wait. You can't see these things? None of this has happened, except perhaps the bad hair day? (Of course, the Pope really did quit, but I think for other reasons.)
My Republican friends are convinced that Obama is leading us all to hell in a handbasket. My Democrat friends are equally convinced the the Republican congress is leading us all to hell in a handbasket. No and no. No hell, no handbasket, just a bad hair day.
Settle down, everyone! We will all be fine.
I'm supporting the sequester by underfilling my 7-Eleven hot chocolate by 1.7% every morning. Feels great to be part of the solution!
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