The strange tale of Ralph the Eskimo.

This is a true story about my friend Ralph. 
Years ago, Ralph was a graduate student in a college in the southern part of the U.S.  He had to fill out an enrollment form that included those questions that are supposed to be for statistical purposes only, including one for "race or ethnic origin."  One of the options to check was Eskimo.  Ralph assumed that few people in that state would be checking Eskimo, so he did, just so their data would be more interesting. 

Then something happened that is not supposed to happen.  Someone used that data for other than "statistical purposes only."  Someone noticed that Ralph was a non-Eskimo kind of name, and that Ralph's surname was very German, and called him about his Eskimo indication.  (Please note:  the only way to ensure that computerized data is not misused is for it to not exist.) 

So what was Ralph to do?  I must give him credit for his ability to think on his feet.  He told the caller that his father was from Germany, and emigrated to Alaska to look for work, where he met and married an Eskimo girl.  He also said he spent his youth with his mother and her people, and so identified with his Eskimo heritage much more than his German heritage, although he had his father's name.  The caller was satisfied, and hung up. 

Of course, this tale was completely fabricated.  Ralph's family was all from Texas, and had never even visited either Alaska or Germany.  But it makes a great story.